Convincing Myself

Don’t think

Don’t see

Don’t love

Don’t be

Don’t hope

Don’t dream

Not him

Not me.

Good Girls Like Bad Boys

Have you ever noticed that girls like bad boys?

Yeah well it happens and it always seems to be the good girls who fall for them. But why is that? I have a theory.

So you have those boys right? They might be your typical ‘I-don’t-do-respect’ or they might your ‘goody-two-shoes’ boys. Either way, their arrogance is their main feature. Of course girls don’t tend to see that aspect.

Then you have those girls. Usually the ones that have life going for them. They’re pretty with loads of friends and could get almost anyone they wanted. Except this guy. Nup this guy is so stubborn. He’ll look straight through her while other guys get dumb struck. So they are subconsciously on a mission to obtain his attention. There’s finally a challenge and they take it.

She smiles when she sees him. She might walk up with illuminating confidence yet his gaze will pass straight through her. He’ll only nod his head to acknowledge her presence. There’ll be no eye contact. Just the nod. She’s hurt but she makes a little joke to cover it up.  She about turns with the flick of her hair and struts away, being sure to enunciate the swivel of her hips.

And history repeats itself. He’ll keep neglecting her. He might lead her on one day and then ignore her the next. Yes these are the type of boys that drive a girl insane. She thinks she’s got him on her hook only to find that he’s run away with the bait.

And she keeps casting out into the sea. She keeps exposing herself. Sometimes literally. Just to get his attention, the prize.

She realises she’s never going to get him. In fact she doesn’t even want him. But she keeps trying anyway, bound to her mission, tied by her pride.

It drives me crazy the way this works.

I wish it wouldn’t yet I see it happening over and over again.

You know that feeling. When you’re over it. You don’t want him anymore, but it still hurts when he ignores you. You still wished that he cared?

Just seeing him opens a can of old worms, reminding you of your failure.

Yeah tell me you know those girls. And tell me you know those boys.

Don’t be one of those girls. Don’t be one of those boys.

You’ll only be left discontented.

To Send Or Backspace?

Did you ever go to write someone a text message but you had nothing to say? You just wanted to talk to them?

Or did you ever have something to say but you didn’t have the heart to send it?

So you backspace.

But then you write it again… look at it and… backspace?

Gosh do you know the feeling?

I got words on the tip of my tongue

they tingle down to my fingers.

I got words to breathe out of my lungs

but I’m scared of getting splinters.

So I whip out the phone.

My muscles spin

my hearts sings

what I’m feeling’s written on the screen.

But it goes to the bin.

Are my feelings a sin?

I’ve only courage enough to keep the slate clean.

I want you to know

there are feelings to show

even when I don’t have the words.

I want you to know

that I want you alone

cause right now my heart beating hurts.

Yes I want you to know

I’ll sit by the phone

and  sit by the phone

waiting for courage to birth.

© retracingme