Those Thoughts, That Smile…

So what is it that you can’t stop thinking about? Come on, something must come to mind!

Some of the examples the lady gave at the conference are those negative thoughts that run through your head day in and day out, ‘I’m ugly’ or ‘I’m not good enough I’ll never succeed’. Those thoughts can really take hold of you and tear you up inside but there are a few tips in my last post to overcome those thoughts and I pray that thoughts like these never hinder you from being the best that God designed you to be.

I’m not blowing off the importance of those thoughts but I guess I also want to cater for some people with other, more time-consuming thoughts. If you’re anything like me, perhaps what’s permeating your mind is the smile of a certain someone. It’s like you have this replay button in your mind and an incredibly crystal clear image of their eyes crinkling plays over and over again.

Ok so that’s an example of entertaining your thoughts but what about those other times when they just pop up? Perhaps you’re out buying an ice-cream and it triggers the memory of an incident a few days ago and you begin to wonder what they’re up to this weekend.  If you’re anything like me, you won’t be able to help it.

That’s what I’ve found. Two days ago I decided to dismiss my thoughts of him. I realised they weren’t healthy and acknowledged that with God’s help I can take those thoughts captive and overcome them. It’s been working. I finally got some homework done rather than constantly day dreaming. But I have found that these thoughts are so persistent!

They pop up over and over and over and over and well… you get the picture. And over and over I have to dismiss them. I suppose I thought it would be a matter of recognising it was wrong and then I wouldn’t have these thoughts but I’ve found it is a constant battle. Yes I have come a long way in two days but I guess I still have a fair way to go.

So please be patient with me :) I am trying!

Facebook Deprivation

I honestly can’t convey to you the peace I feel right now.

I haven’t checked my Facebook in days and it feels good.

I hate the adictiveness of it and the way it controls us.

I’m thinking this is the same reason I abandoned msn a few years ago.

It’s all about popularity, who’s in with the latest ‘group’ and who’s getting messages from whom.

I mean come on. There is so much more to life. So many better ways to spend our time and so much more to show for it.

Yeah seriously. You might think going without internet for a few days would give you the jitters. But you’d be surprised. If you have any remnants of innate life rather than cyber reality left in you, you will thank yourself.

It doesn’t really work if you are away on holidays or your internet is down. I think it is the active choice you make to restrain from checking/ surfing the internet that makes you feel good. That you do not succumb but rather are in control.

For once.

Don’t even get me started on whatever they call fate.

Watched the end of Romeo + Juliet. Come on… how could he not get the letter!? How come she awoke one second too late to save him from the perilous destiny!?

Yes we must exercise our control over the things we can. Otherwise we have no hope.

I say ‘let’s get some air’.

What Could Have Been

Looking at your pictures.

Remembering your smile.

Wishing I hadn’t have added you.

Why did I do it?

Why didn’t I wait?

Now it remains as a reminder of what could have been.

Wishing I didn’t feel such regret.

Wishing self-control was present within me.

Wishing I could take back everything I said.

Wishing things could have gone beautifully.

Your smile next to mine.

Fingers entwined?

Not now.

I typed.

You clicked.

We’re over.

Now I’m sitting here pondering what could have been.

Had I only waited

Relationships Make And Break Too Quick Thanks To The Internet *wish I could fall in love the old fashion way

Internet is too darn easy. 

Why can’t things happen the old fashion way? 

You know… boy meets girl. They spend time together… they laugh, they smile they fall in love. 

They actually have to ask for each others last name, rather than see it come up on the Facebook screen. 

Seriously how much more romantic would it be to say “when can I see you next?” rather than “so whats your number/email” when you part ways at the end of a great day together. 

To not be sure if you would ever see them again and to know that if it was right then you could just trust God. 

But these days cyber relationships come too easy. We’re not as shy and all we have to do is get the courage to hit the ‘send’ button. 

Maybe thats why stuff doesn’t work out anymore… 

Things just come all to quick, because we can contact them and stalk them 24/7. 

Do none of us have the self-control to just take it slow for once? 

I wish I did. So I’m praying for it. 

I’m sorry my thoughts are so scattered. 

But I want to be different, 

I want to be free, 

I want to make a change , 

just by being me. 

– my lyrics 

I don’t want to leave the same scars other people are leaving. 

Jesus has given me the fruit of the spirit. 

All I have so do is find it :)