What Could Have Been

Looking at your pictures.

Remembering your smile.

Wishing I hadn’t have added you.

Why did I do it?

Why didn’t I wait?

Now it remains as a reminder of what could have been.

Wishing I didn’t feel such regret.

Wishing self-control was present within me.

Wishing I could take back everything I said.

Wishing things could have gone beautifully.

Your smile next to mine.

Fingers entwined?

Not now.

I typed.

You clicked.

We’re over.

Now I’m sitting here pondering what could have been.

Had I only waited

Just Like Kindergarten

You know that line in High School Musical… when they are alone on the garden roof and Gabriella thanks Troy for not judging her, for just taking her how she was? She refers to their friendship like one of two kindergarten kids. You can just meet and play like your old-time buddies and it doesn’t matter who the other person is. It doesn’t matter if their socks are knee-high or ankle-cut. It doesn’t matter if they are into Converse or Nike. Who cares how many piercings they have. If you are both assigned to cutting out cardboard giraffes you’ll do you best to work together and it will be fun!

How much do we yearn for that as we grow up? People are so wary these days. We’ve been through so much. We’ve been hurt and we can only assume the other person has been too. So we don’t take our chances. We rationalise and make excuses for not befriending other people. We say, ‘aw this person looks emo’ or ‘look he’s just not got the same taste in music as me’.  I understand, we don’t want to sign ourselves up for open fire because it is almost certain… no wait it is  certain that this someone will hurt us. I mean no one is perfect.

So what do we do? Because the truth is we need to keep replenishing our friendships. Our current friends will move away. We’ll have fights and people change. Everything is always changing and it is only a matter of time til we look back on this very day contemplating how different life is. If we are not open to making new friends, we’re only making life harder for ourselves.

We need friends! We need them here straighten the back of our hair for us. We need them to have fun at gigs and festivals. We need them to get angry at and they need us too. We need friendships to grow.  We need good friends who will help us out when we are down or rebuke us when we are slipping up.

We need friends so that we can not only take but learn to give to them ourselves. A selfish person will get nowhere in life. We need to learn to look out for other people. We need to stop picking out their faults and actually give them the time of day to get to know them. Honestly if you take the time, even ten minutes to speak with someone you will forget and previous flaws you saw in them. Gosh once you see their smile in context, you will even enjoy the crookedness of their teeth!

Maybe you don’t think you need any more friends. Maybe you are just fine in life thank-you-very-much. But stop thinking about yourself. Maybe someone else needs a friend. Maybe it will do you good to know that you are needed, wanted and appreciated for who you are.

You don’t have to go along with your peers. You can make decisions for yourself. You do not need to cast a vote between your friends before you take action. Ever think maybe you are only wanted by your group at school because it makes them look good. One extra member goes along way. Yeah it’s fine, and it’s good to be a part of groups like that. But don’t let them stunt your individuality.

Get out there. Talk to new people. Don’t just blow them off for some superficial reason. Even ugly boys can make you laugh when you are down. Even beautiful girls, with whom we are so envious, can have beautiful personalities, if we get to know them instead of riding them off as snobs.

Come on. Look beyond the surface. Even if it is only temporary. If the craft table only goes for 15 minutes before you rotate to handwriting… make the friend. Have the fun. You won’t be disappointed!