Bothered About Boys

Everyone always goes looking for love. It seems to be that single thing everyone wants in life. Well, that and the meaning of life… but since I got that one down pat I guess love is next on my list.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m kind of glad I haven’t found it and I’m not hoping to find it any time soon. I know, I know I’m seventeen for crying out loud. It doesn’t make sense! Everyone around is groping at this craze and I barely even notice.  I know it is not meant to be this way but alas, this is how my heart finds me and so on is inevitable.

I’m beginning to think it isn’t the guys anymore. I don’t think I’ve seen an attractive guy in months and I don’t know if that’s because they are none around or because I just don’t care to look anymore. Kinda a bit worried, wondering what is happening to me. I read through my diary, painted with feelings about long lost crushes from years gone by and I can’t even understand them, even though it is my own history. I ask how could I think that? How did I feel that? What was that drug running through my body that felt so amazing and unique and how can I find it again? Will I ever find it again.

Now this is a lil procrastination at the moment. I’m stuck into school and honestly I don’t want any distractions. In fact I don’t even know if I’d be distracted if one of the Jonas Brothers came to my school. Something’s up? Me thinks so too.

I guess you could say I’m sort of bothered that I’m just not bothered.

 For now, I’ve just got noone to play ‘He loves me not’ with :)